The first one is funny. The second one though feels a little fat-shamey, no? I don’t like Kim’s dress, but girl’s preggo. Let’s cut her some slack here

Is this from a porn?

I love my husband... but he’s driving me insane. When we were dating, he would do little (very little but meaningful) things to make me know I was loved and cared for - leave a note, bring me coffee, have some chocolate waiting for me when I got home, surprise me with something small I wanted. But then once we got…

Oh, the Supreme Court? The Supreme Court that ruled that gay marriage was legal? That Supreme Court? Good luck with that, you ignorant fuck.

I still don’t understand how someone who has been married four times can say with a straight face that it undermines her religious beliefs to allow gay people to marry.

I’ve been to three funerals in my life, but my great grandmother’s funeral when I was seventeen has to be the weirdest/most uncomfortable one of them all.

I actually find the ritual of a Catholic funeral to be comforting. But if I didn’t, I wouldn’t declare it to be “bullshit.”

At least the i’s weren’t dotted with hearts?

After being dead for 18 years, my father in law still has a stalker.

Just this summer, my uncle died. His cremated remains were brought from his state of residence to SC for interment. The graveside service, attended only by family, was held in the middle of the day during that godawful heat wave we had. It was 108 degrees. Three generations of my family stood around in our Sunday…

I basically babbled. Something along the lines of, “I’m so glad he has such an open minded and loving family, but I’m not a sex worker and I really only know him from the amazing stories my new coworkers tell me. I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’m sure I would’ve loved him but maybe not that way but maybe that way…

So a week after I started this job, a guy who no longer worked at the publication I worked for died in a car accident. I never met him, and he was a copy editor so it wasn’t like I was familiar in any way with him through what he wrote.
But nevertheless, the EOC said everyone needed to go. So I went. And somehow the…

Many years ago one of my very good friends died suddenly. The circumstances were pretty bad but he had this super cool hippie mom. His mom was the mom who’s house we always wanted to hang out at as teenager. So when he died she decided to bring him home and some friends made him a pine box and she decorated it with…

I figure Starbucksguy would probably transform into “weird menu hack hero” just like this Chipotle guy if he merely ordered off the board. Because he would no longer be wasting any employees time or being asininely particular, but he would merely be getting that free coffee every day. Like, as an employee I’d probably…

UHHHH, there is plenty wrong with it. I mean wow, its sad on it’s face man. What is food and eating? A game where you die from eating all the food? I would always take a delicious burrito that was planned out by someone over a sadness pile wrapped in a failure shell. Chipotle is only an OK place to eat anyway, its…

So my conscience won’t let me eat at Jimmy John’s (not that I ever really did) and now Subway’s off the list, too. What next, a Potbelly’s scandal?

“He described sex with minors, including underage prostitutes between the ages of 9 and 16” Um, no. He described raping child sex slaves. No nine year old is a prostitute and no nine year old “has sex” with an adult. Ever. That’s slavery and rape. I know. I too was a nine year old sex slave.

Ban all guns. Make them illegal to posses. Getting caught with one is an automatic jail sentence. This nonsense has gone on for too long. This amendment was authored by people who were okay with slavery. It does not, and should not, translate to 2015 America