The last thing the NFL needs is more teams.

I work in a furniture adjacent industry, I’ve got some bad news for you. These exist:

These pieces of shit are even worse. no back and just as uncomfortable.

Not a joke, I had to check this on Google. If you asked me about the Falcons before this moment I would have told you they were a 2002 expansion team.

I’m sorry, but if you donate to a political campaign, you are making a public statement about whom and what you support.  In that limited sphere, they are not private figures anymore.  They made a choice to get in bed with Trump, and that’s something that deserves public shaming at this point.  Sure, there’s a chance…

This is as far as leftists generally go: putting the info out there with a legally-acceptable wink and a nudge and that’s it. 99.9% of the time someone goes full San Ysidro and it comes out that they’re a liberal, it also comes out that their attack(s) were more the result of them being nuts rather than radicalized…

Man 1998?! For reference, that was a time when the President could get impeached for a blowjob. WILD!

Cory Booker has already called this hostage-tape speech “bullshit soup”, and Tim Ryan has absolutely Had Enough.

“In conclusion, America is a land of contrasts.” 

Ah, we’ve seen this bit before.

A book report his mother wrote for him. 

Read with all the gravitas of a 2nd grader doing an oral book report in front of the class.

To top everything off, he then praised the people of Toledo, which is a different Ohio city from Dayton, where the massacre actually happened. Cool.

Imagine killing nine and wounding twenty six and it’s only the second worst mass shooting in 24 hours. It’s like when Groucho Marx died the same day as Elvis.

I need to hear nirvana puns like I need a hole in the head. 

Where were all the good guys with guns?  I thought everyone in Texas was packing heat

But instead of being Nirvana TX is much more like Courtney Love.

Don’t worry, everybody! The governor of Texas is on top of things and has arrested...the gal who licked the bucket of ice cream.

See also:

If you had a disease that killed over 33,000 people a year, the government would take active measures to address that.