I will forever uphold that the biggest keyboard “Lifehack” is a DIY, programmable keyboard.

I will forever uphold that the biggest keyboard “Lifehack” is a DIY, programmable keyboard.

The Blue Van will be collecting you shortly, remain where you are.

Holy hell, I first read that as “Cheetos, with stirred peanut butter and milk...” and had to reread it, not twice but thrice, to determince wether you are a complete maniac or not.

I am no longer able to pronounce the name “Bret” or “Bread” without making an ass of myself because of Flight of the Conchords.

I’m glad, it’s better like it is.

I don’t know.
But she doesn’t appear to know how to sit on a sofa, so I’m not to bothered.

Illusion of Gaia had a sequel!?

Wait, dickbutt is fascist-adjacent?
Come on, I love dickbutt! It’s the stupidest thing ever.

pee is stored in the balls

Yup, I like Macs (I like the other ones too!) but Mac Guy is a douche nozzle.
If I worked with that guy I’d hate breathing the same air as him.
PC Guy however seems great, I’d love to have him around the office.

At least it makes pussy taste good.
...I’m so sorry and I hope someone got that reference.

That’s Major Prick to you, maggot.

That’s Major Heebie Jeebies to you maggot!

Jelly Bellys are revolting, each and every flavor.
-and they remind me of my ex, double awful.
Reeses Cups belong in B&J ice cream.
-and they make me happy inside, double orgasmotron.

Have you tried opening the packaging of memory cards without scissors?
So I borrowed them one time! Jeez, get off my nuts, you broke my teapot that one time!

Au contraire; they should get a raise and an extra week of paid vacation every year.

“I can’t be racist; I bought a black kid!”

“I hope he learned a lesson when I picked up the bottle, and brought it to him with a, “you dropped this” note.”

This was nearly a toss up between Kate and Allison.
Ribs, man, I fucking love dry rubbed ribs slathered in BBQ sauce.