But it's okay, because there is no problem with mental health care or ease of access to guns in this country!!! Nothing to see here!!! Look over there at that shiny thing!!!

Wow.

A guy that I grew up with and spent a fair amount of time hanging around with as a kid was killed the other day in pretty much one of the most extreme fashions imaginable. He apparently took a rifle and shot a cab driver in downtown Austin in the early morning hours, and then he ran into a hotel and began shooting in…

Grog, the pirate's choice!

LYING

That song is truly an instrument of terror.

Unfortunately, the statue of limitations has expired on most of these charges.

HE HATES THESE CANS! STAY AWAY FROM THE CANS!!!

Or the inevitable supergroup formed by former members of Blitzen Trapper and Steppenwolf.

Yes, all of those men combined!

I have read this comment multiple times, and I am still trying to wrap my head around what "anyone who speaks more like how they sound" means.

Really? You didn't notice? Have you not been paying attention since the Great Exodus?

I bet you think this thread is about you, don't you? Don't you?

And instead it is Modern Family. When does this "something that's usually quite good" that you speak of come along?

Get me a tarp.

EDIT: Joke removed since someone already made it further down.

Life is hard on the streets for a T-rex, isn't it? You have my sympathies.

Mario Lopez is infinite. His tight curls of hair know no limits, his dimples no bounds.

How can you ask such frivolous questions when they are tearing the Buick City Complex down?

Come on, fhqwhgads. I see you jockin' me. Tryna play like… you know me…