the names are a bit sadistic lol...

MISANDRY!!

In Soviet Russia, server hit on you.

I’m blunt because I’m bad at diplomacy and when I say “no” I don’t put up with anyone trying to pester me into saying “yes” and have been known to be rude to those who do try to bully me into doing something I don’t want to do. Maybe I’m an obstinate jerk or maybe they’re jerks for thinking I should be a push over and…

in case you missed it the first time

a. What in the God’s name is wrong with that stupid fucking Judge? I’m no legal expert, so I would really appreciate some education on this. I’ve read the article on Jez from a few weeks back, but this still doesn’t make sense to me at all. Loeb, dude, get your head out of your sphincter

Um a Aussie here, almost all male kangaroos look like this. Most overseas folks see the females or mistake wallaby’s (cute and mini version of kangaroos) for actual kangaroos.

the Kangaroo looks like it’s the most “naturally” anthropomorphic animal out there.

He’s got a face that you WANT to want to punch, plus, you can’t help but think about the fact that he’d grab your ex on the rebound and convince her to have sex somewhere fairly uncomfortable, like the back seat of a volkswagon.

I was an extra on a Ben Affleck movie; he was so damn nice to everyone even though all the extras were ANNOYING AS FUCK. None of them were actors, so they didn’t get the memo about the actors’ “personal space”- one even saw him smoking and asked if he could bum a cigarette, and Affleck just gave him one. Damn; the guy…

Many years ago I was on a flight and a passenger had something, I can’t even remember what, nothing rare or anything, and there was no room in the overhead bins for it. So a really nice flight attendant said she’d take it and put it in a closet. Not the cargo hold, just up in business class. And the guy insisted he’d…

I’m early for an early flight out of Atlanta. I ask the baggage handler at the curb to tell me something I wouldn’t know about his job. He’s not busy, no one else there, two of us having a smoke.

Is Hugh Grant still a danger with college freshmen?

That’s So Kanye™

That’s So Kanye

“I don’t know him.”

These stories run the gamut from hilarious to downright horrifying. Still, if I got the Ezekiel 25:13 speech from Sam Jackson it’d be like the sun on my heart for a thousand years.

I thought the girl who got treated badly by one of the Boondocks Saints would be here. He was such a dick to her.

That Kanye story. I’m literally crying with laughter.