The one constant in her life has been grandma, actually... and I'm not sure where you're getting this "blame the victim" bit.

I'm... uh, kinda curious and want to ask for a link, but... hmmm, satisfy my curiosity or have no mental scarring tonight? I still bear a grudge against Mark for rosebud.

Either fake or that lady is really dense.

Why would you want to work on your relationship with your mother who's dating your rapist?

I get told to abort myself, or run into traffic, or jump off a building, every week. I usually ignore these inspirational examples of Christian compassion...

You can even if it's not your birthday, honey. (But seriously, this entitled girl can go fuck herself.)

I guess according to the author, we're supposed to feel sorry for Gabrielle being stupid because it was her birthday which absolves her of any real world responsibility.

Gabrielle Wathen is not a smart or resourceful lady. People are made aware of the surcharges beforehand...

I once farted while coughing in front of class in college.

I'm so glad I wasn't the only tearing up... uh, Bimbo Baggins.

Don't forget the subtle butt stubble on Jay Z... meowwwrrr!

Nickname of a hillbilly girl with a shitty mother.

I'm bald and HATE the feel of makeup on my skin. In my own case, I suppose I'm lucky it hasn't held me back. I think people are too amused by how weird I look, I guess...

Throw a Pokeball against her head. Repeatedly.

I'm surprised she didn't buy a fancy soap dispenser after spending all that money to be so gaudy... then again, she is actually dressed modestly (and from another decade.)

She doesn't deserve the honour of tossing your salad.