Much like Scott, I also encountered a famous quarterback during college. I was getting off the campus bus in front of my dorm when I saw an imposing figure walking by. I didn’t think much of it until someone left the front door of the dorm open and the alarm started blaring. Then I recognized him: Ole’ Big Ben stopped…

When he was slicin’ and dicin’ with his drones it was remotely endearing. And as an Indians fan, I even looked past his disgusting finger like melting into a puddle on the mound when we really needed him in the WS. But Jesus, he’s really committed to being a know-it-all shithead.