Way to turn a great idea into a piece of shit, Beck my man! Now be more of a disgusting dickbag Scientologist!

LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't stand Rosie O'Donnell years ago, but the parade of hideous firebreathing she-wolves that have followed in her wake has made me miss her.

I've retina few in my time.

GET A FUCKING ROOM YOU TWO

The one guy's like "Shit! I forgot my trucker hat! I can't be the most insufferable hipster dork in Bullshitsvania without my trucker hat!" The others are like, "Uh, who are you?"

"You wanna play Pinocchio? You sit on my face and I'll tell ya lies! OH!" — Andrew "Dice" Clay

I had to kill Geppetto because he made a mistake. Now it's time to erase that mistake.