Death is a kind of escape.

I’ve always wondered if the ply was designed to confuse the defense and make them jump offsides with all of the offensive motion and they never should have snapped the ball, but the center forgot that part.

These are a lot of words to say “just eat the corn”

Clearly there should have been flags thrown because the defense didn’t count to 3-Mississippi before rushing past the line of scrimmage.

We call it “relationship tofu” - you don’t have a personality/style of your own; but you’re great at taking on whatever flavor your partner has. 

I desperately want a recording of the coaches meeting where that play was diagrammed. 

I mean, I kinda get what they are going for, but it has to be snapped IMMEDIATELY. Even then it probably won’t work, but if you give even one player in the middle of the field a moment to recognize what’s going on the play is completely toast.

See: Pence and Mother

Mariota isn’t blameless, but I have a hard time viewing him as the main culprit for this failure because I think it would be tough for any prospect develop into a top caliber QB when: 

Hey now... Trubisky’s first two years and Mariota’s first two years are pretty damn similar!

Thing is, I never saw him or Winston as NFL caliber QBs.  Both had major flaws in reading how plays diagnose in real-time, and could be inconsistent throwing the football to boot.  This limited both guys upside, as they would alternate between good and bad stretches of football.  They are, simply put, mediocre NFL QBs…

“...when it progresses to people drinking the scotch trickling out of a butthole and being hospitalized.”

I do enjoy the idea of someone trying to smuggle scotch pods in their butt, then they explode because they accidentally sat down too hard and then they die of alcohol poisoning. Crazy millennials always dying from pods!

Predicting new internet trend of people putting scotch capsules up their butts to see if it gets your drunk. Will call it Scotch Tape-Worming.  Will inevitably end when it progresses to people drinking the scotch trickling out of a butthole and being hospitalized.   

Yeah I don’t understand how that is even a question.

He is an old man who has earned the right to yell at clouds by being Martin Fucking Scorsese, but when I say ‘It’s a perfectly fine stance to take’, that’s my stance that I’m talking about. That’s me seeing it both ways and getting it. I’m not saying that about Scorsese. Just to be clear.

I heard upon his last dying breath Ingmar Bergman admitted he saw the Snyder cut and he always prefered DC. 

Next up let’s ask Scorsese’s opinion on Star Wars or Star Trek! Gif or Jif? Pineapple on pizza? What color is this dress? FTW!

JESUS CHRIST WHO CARES???

I’m just not sure I think this is true.