Crunchy Sock Twitter - refers to assholes who sit on the internet all day, spend half the time watching porn and jacking off into a tube sock (pun intended), and the other half twittering shit on the cyber about other people. Next day, that sock is dried and crunchy.

I thought the implication was that they’re a bunch of chronic masturbators who use their socks to wipe up their splooge. That would leave their socks cum-starched and stiff, hence, crunchy sock Twitter. Could be wrong though.

Because it’s not really about Russell. This is alllllllll about Ciara Princess Harris and other people being insecure and needing therapy.

There are two camps of men who see Ciara as damaged goods for different reasons.

Camp A: These are the Futures of the world. Ciara was supposed to get pumped and dumped. She was…

Dude, uh, spends some time on himself, finishes into a sock, tosses sock aside, after a while sock gets crispy. It’s basically a colorful update an update on the “mom’s basement” ain’t-for-shit diss.

After watching the “Ride It” video I would vote republican if Ciara insisted on it. Hell, I’d even eat white folk potato salad. Raisins, carrots and all.

yeah, folks get it twisted. I’m not a small dude, stronger than most and fought enough growing up to be confident, but that pro athlete strength and size is something you don’t want to mess with. A dude strong enough to throw a football as far and as fast as he can combined with the size of his hands doesn’t have to…

Because he is a God damn elite athlete, and frankly they are borderline a different species of human than you. His brain can process information faster, his reflexes are faster, he is stronger and faster than all these people going after him. He is simply put, physically better. I am not a world beater of a fighter…

Since when did being a twiggy-ass rapper mean you can fight?

Okay Future.

Mayne, I was just talking about this with my wife yesterday. We the only folks on this gotdamn earth that makes being a good man and treating a woman right a fucking horrible thing. I’ve heard this so many times growing up. Even now in 2017, I’ve had dudes say to me on FB “she only with you because you’re dependable…

And what really more can be said about people so invested Ciara’s unhappiness — and the perpetual unhappiness of other black women who happen to have children with men they are no longer in relationships with (which is really what this is all about)

I married a corny guy and I hope my daughter does too.

It’s not bad but I still want that pig killed, smoked and on my plate tomorrow morning! The pig, the whole pig and nothing but the pig, so help me God…

If I could just be a fly on the wall when any of those crazy fools gets home from work and starts unloading to their spouse. I mean does she walk in and be like “Damn I really pulled that one out of my ass today” or is it more like “I feel like the press just doesn’t get me”?

This is true! I feel like while still largely, and VERY largely, there’s a lot of fucking up by white people, there are probably more woke people (or at least waking up) of all colors in general than there has ever been. Before it was “impolite” to talk about race or sexual preference in mixed company but now I feel…

You ever watched a movie that was so bad you started to enjoy how bad it was? That is me with this administration. I can only cackle while it gets even dumber and dumber. I’m sure the ending will be hilarious.

Seeing as how kinja only allows me to star your brilliant comment only once, please allow me to present you with this star gif because you deserve all the stars that hang over the Pacific Northwest sky. Xièxiè.

A reset is impossible. The bridge was burned down and salted.

If I may quote Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October, “There is no going back..”