That reads like the worst Beatles song ever.

Something something, forced birth is a form of slavery, something something.

Give the former slaves Texas, too. That way they get some oil. And Texas never has to become what it currently is.

It made it to the internet by way of the Pony Express. The poor kid was riding as fast as he could!

Paper cuts. So many paper cuts.

Because I live in the middle of nowhere, I have never seen a fidget spinner in real life. I am not sad about this.

Yes, the feeling when you get a burrito at a restaurant and it's all soggy underneath.

I never liked that guy. Spock all the way.

Er, I meant in the 'Clue' sense, not in the 'Furry' sense.

When I typed my comment, I realized that thesaurus ends in -saurus, and was hoping for some dinosaurs.

There would be more Marthas, and you would hate it more.

The zebra did it with the xylophone in the yurt.

Will this be followed by a thesaurus movie? Because I'd really like to see that.

The ghost of Oberyn is going to haunt you forever for making this comparison.

Uncle Joe would push him out of the car before they located said scratch.

They also serve who only stand and shoot their mouth off.

Next up, a spooky movie featuring Tilda Swinton and Channing Tatum as husband and wife. Tatum swans around in a nightdress and Swinton has to rescue him when he goes running through the woods and trips for no reason.

I'm sitting here at work on a Tuesday morning, listening to the soundtrack to The Road and trying to find a reason to keep my eyes open. This isn't helping.

I would think a DA who wasn't convinced of the defendant's guilt would have a hard time arguing a case persuasively, and therefore would risk taking a hit to their all-important conviction rate. If the evidence doesn't convince the DA, how is it going to convince the jury?

Could he perhaps become untethered from gravity?