heyyyy

At one point, a list of “Key Must Haves” for potential candidates included a number of characteristics (“likes people,” “integrity,” “skin that can thicken”)

I admit I’m one of the white women who was proud that we saw zero arrests.

Yeah I mean my dad spent like, 10 days per month in Japan on business when I was growing up and my mom didn’t get a New York Times piece saluting her.

So just to be clear:

It’s difficult and inefficient. I’ve been a nonprofit worker for ~10 years and I believe that the nonprofit sector plays a very important role in society but it is fundamentally not designed to fill the void of a ruined government.

Well, also, I assume Kanye would turn it down. I can’t imagine it would bode well for his brand. And then Trump’s team would have another celebrity rejection on their hands. So it was wise of them to not ask in the first place.

Unless it’s late July and then it’s a billion degrees and fucking miserable.

this needs more stars! somebody get this post more stars!

I’m taking the day off to drink bloody marys, eat pancakes and play board games with my boyfriend.

no no no no no

After Michelle finished, as I discreetly wiped away my tears, I turned to my boyfriend and tried to make this point and I couldn’t for the life of me remember the woman’s damn name. All I could remember was that it’s vaguely foreign and has a lot of vowels, like the names of all the other women in his life.

I second this.

Aww I like this scenario so much. We should start a fan fic site just for this.

IT’S CALLED A SHA-BREW

Exactly, and the fucking New York Times fell for it. Their headline:

Ice caps melt and flood the cities, causing the economy to collapse and everyone to starve

bahaha I remember that. She bought something ridiculous like swiss chard.

Wait, what the fuck? Narwhals are real? Or is this photoshopped and you’re all playing a prank on me?

I’m relieved I’m not the only one with this confusion...