Then my work here is done.

If Mark Wahlberg had been protecting JFK, it would have gone down differently, let me tell you.

Thank God, I’m marrying the entire Trumo family in November.

No, we’re implying the Trump family is, the honored Trumo family thankfully remains unscathed in all this

given half of the recent news stories we’ve heard about the secret service he probably got rid of them because they were terrible at covering up their own prostitute use and he was afraid they were going to blow it for him

So he says he’s not using Secret Service anymore. Secret Service can’t/won’t comment. Some reporter digs up info that Trump Jr is paying millions for “security detail.” But in reality, maybe he’s still getting Secret Service Protection and the money he’s spending on “security” is actually just another money laundering…

Solid Gold Stormtroopers are out of his price range. They’ll be gilded PVC Stormtrooper costumes from the local Halloween store.

So Don Jr. wants to camping by himself. Good we’ll be waiting for him

It’s probably hard to kidnap prostitutes and secrete them in your clandestine sex dungeon with government officials watching your every move.

Maybe Donald Jr. could invite Dick Cheney to go hunting together.

This is the time to write a comedy/action film in which some action/comedy star or other (who am I kidding, it’ll be Mark Wahlberg) has crazy misadventures trying to protect Trump, or some equally boneheaded scion, who it turns out doesn’t want to be protected at all. My version will have the hero just give up at the…

i sense a fake kidnapping to get headlines off Russiagate.

I think you mean “go for the nuts.” The more we stop Trumps from breeding, the better.

Now is the time patriots!

Obviously you are too late for that.

Without Secret Service protection, that should be a lot easier. Go nuts.

It just wouldn’t be a day in 2017 without a Trump making a show of doing something self-harming, in the name of ‘Murca/ratings. They’re like a Madison Rising version of MTV Jackass

Everything’s fine. Just the son of the president ditching normal protection as we learn Trump’s campaign chairman was wiretapped from 2014 on... nothing to see here!

What? Where will people buy Spider-Man merchandise for a reasonable fee now?!