Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

“Stuff Happens”

Brutaler.

Being a single mother is not for the faint of heart, I tell you.

How to start your day like Mocena:

Serena is the most dominant athlete in sports. It’s not even close.

Every non-Patriots fan:

growing up my cat's favourite toy was those little circles of plastic you have to take off of new bottles of milk. he could swat those things around for hours.

We've all herd a lot about the colts moving, but the ravens moving must have been murder.

As a final "fuck you" to the NBA, Sterling plans on dying tomorrow.