Otis the slug dog.

“usually reasonable burlap sack full of rancid Peeps...” -do you lie awake at night thinking of these? They are simply epic and may get me through the next year with these asshats.

I’m a Scully in the streets and Mulder in the sheets.

god fucking bless you, Madeleine.

“Lizzie’s grave is the only one that’s infested with ants.”

It doesn’t hurt that Clinton and Richards are about 19x smarter than anyone else in the room.

You think reading it was bad, imagine me as I’m writing it.

I’ve taken my kids to work occasionally, and sometimes even had them sit in the classroom quietly reading. Hell, when I was chair of the department, a colleague even left her two pre-school age kids in my office to watch while she taught (apparently, they had pink eye).

Look, I love babies. I like moms (some of them). But if I was invited to speak in from of hundreds of people, do a book signing, and participate in an intense professional conference, I’d arrange for child care for the day. No, you can’t bring your baby to work, sorry. That includes adjunct teaching. Advocate for…

My brain did a goofy thing with that sentence and made me think of James Cameron, the movie director, rather than David Cameron, the British politician. For a couple seconds, I was all like, “lol, wut? What does Cameron have to do with voting?? ... Oh.”

I watched this for so long

“David Cameron take note, dead women can’t vote.”

God, HBC is the shit.

Please tell me your FB friend is a hamster.

They’re so concerned about ending the autism “epidemic” that they’re creating actual epidemics out of preventable diseases. Fucking incredible.

Even. If. Vaccines. Did. Cause. Autism. Which. They. Do. Not. An. Autistic. Child. Is. Still. An. Alive. Child.

Yup. They view all women as shallow, unintelligent, uninteresting, frivolous, obnoxious, illogical, overly emotional, walking sets of holes they would like to fuck when they feel like it. We aren’t really people to men who think that way. I would call them Neanderthals, but then I never met a Neanderthal and wouldn’t…

Kinja

Description: Shirt. Has wolves.

That banana slicer may be a running joke on Amazon, but my wife actually owns one and uses it literally every day. So at least one person out there takes it very seriously.