but but but...every sperm is sacred:

I got one of those Chrome add-ons a few months ago that changes every instance of the phrase “pro life” to “anti-choice.” This is what your post looked like to me:

I can’t fathom how anyone can possibly be undecided in this election.

A few years ago I was on Facebook and noticed a former coworker I didn’t really know that well but had courtesy-friended who had recently moved out of town had just uploaded a bunch of pics of his new city. There was some interesting looking architecture in the album so I was merrily clicking through the pics when I…

I assume under “Paid in Full”.

“I took a bath, I shaved my legs, I washed every nook and cranny. So you can fuck me anywhere, even in the fanny. Love, Annie.” - letter my mother in law wrote to my father in law, as forever burned into the memory of my then 10-year old husband who discovered it. And later mine.

Ouch. I have something similar: Guy I was sleeping with regularly in college gets a facebook, friends me, and then maybe a few days later puts up “___ is in a relationship.” I was so over the moon excited, telling my best friend... I see him that same night, and he’s definitely not talking about me.

She saw I was sketched out, and hugged me, to comfort me, I guess.

PISSING CONTEST IS BACK! GOD BLESS YOU, JOANNA!

I worked in a photo lab in a Target...there are things I printed out that I will never unsee.

At like 12 or 13 I found and watched an unmarked vhs in my mom’s closet that my father had made specially for her when they were married. I’m going to leave the specifics of what was on that tape to your imagination. 

Visiting my bf’s grandparents...it was a lovely house, and I went upstairs to the hallway to look at the view of the valley. When I turned around to go back down, his grandma was there. Naked. Wandering around in the upstairs hallway. Naked. Ok, she had a towel, but was only drying her hair with it. I was so…

Oh no! Where to begin?

I went to my then girlfriend’s parent’s house for dinner. After the meal I went to find a restroom. I walked down the hall and nearly into the open door of the bathroom where her mom was taking a dump on the toilet. Mortified, I quickly turned around, unsure if she had seen me, and continued down the hall. It was a…

My wife has an extensive dildo collection. When we first started dating (early 20s) she would wash them in the kitchen and just keep them in the drying rack. I said “you know, why don’t you dry them in the tub behind the curtain or something”. She said “cause nobody visits my apartment but you”. Fast forward a few…

When I was 7 or 8 the stairs in our house had a turning to the upstairs landing, and this structure made a perfect ‘poop’ for my little brother and I to play Pirate Ship.

I’m 14 in 2002. Back then everyone in the family shared a PC. No individual smart phones, tablets, or laptops like kids nowadays get to have. So we shared time on the computer between me, my sister and my dad.

People seriously have to stop swiping when somebody shows you a pic on their phone. You have a single view license of that particular photo unless you want to see a pic of somebody’s butthole.

No particular order. Bud Dwyer kill himself on TV. Dead porpoise on the beach. My appendectomy post op infection spewing out of my body. Couple having sex in a bathroom of a strip club while they paid the stripper to watch. Every Fetish & Fantasy Ball I’ve attended.

Seeing through the window - a man shaving my aunt’s vag. It was messed up. I was young. Naturally, it’s burned into my memory...