I know we are all probably still traumatized by the Lindsey Lohan biopic, but I would watch the ever-loving hell out of Dallas Buyers Club 2: White Diamonds.

Eh, I have sympathy for both the dudes you describe and for this woman, provided they didn’t pressure anyone into doing anything they didn’t want to. Sometimes what looks like a minor inconvenience at the beginning of a relationship, when you’re really infatuated with someone, becomes a much bigger problem when the…

Mary-Kate Olsen looks like a tiny French child next to her new husband and his daughter.

More like Van Der PEEN, amirite ladies?

What I love is how quiet the Islam-defenders are on articles like this. It’s almost like their heads are busy up their asses or something.

Yeah...I know teenagers are impressionable and all that, but it’s hard to imagine someone reading about these creeps beheading children and thinking “Sign me up for that!” It’s sad, but my sympathy for anyone running off to join them is pretty limited.

Kids are stupid and it’s unbelievable how many of us make it to adulthood.

Whatever happened to doing drugs and fucking boys?

Would you feel the same way about a 17 year old boy? How about an 18 year old woman? Or an 18 year old man?

What ever happened to running away and joining the circus? Hanging out with lions has to be a hell of lot safer than being with Daesh.

I dated a freelance Jazz pianist for like, 45 seconds, and he once played me an original jazz tune in the nude the morning after and I was just like... uhhhh sounds great but what I could really use is some excedrin and a cup of coffee thanx bye

I don’t care what KK does one way or the other, but wouldn’t it be a brilliant PR move for her to get Kanye to donate 1 million dollars to mothers living below the poverty line who get no paid maternity leave as a “push present”?

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

I never knew I wanted this until now

I have a running list of people I want to get high and color with and she's near the top.

Some people are just naturally clumsy. Now take that, put it in heels and a tight fitting dress and watch what happens.

Ha! My goddaughter's reaction, when her parents told her that Jesus was always watching over her, was pure fear. "He's watching me right now?"

This reminds me of my wonderful niece, who, at the age of 4, was explained the reason why Christians celebrate Christmas.

"He's dead. Dead people don't get to have birthdays. This is pointless".

Unless Ms. Clary is dead, then this kid is just really good at covering all the bases.

Sidenote: If I was an elementary school teacher turned ghost, I would haunt the shit out of people with the smells of scented markers. You'll know I'm angry when an artificial grape + black licorice odor wafts past your desk.

For all the dead ppl