The difference in cabin damage I expected based on that first picture is, uh, vastly exceeded by the reveal in the second.

Torch, you’re gonna be to China what David Hasselhoff is to Germany. 

That will be a great buy on govdeals.com before you know it. Thanks Uncle Sam!

Shit, now that you've caught the eye of the Chinese, you'll be hearing from Trump soon.

This is a great/terrifying idea.

I want Jason to play Jason. I want full-grown, now-Jason to play then-Jason, and I want him to wear the clothes he would have worn then in the same sizes he would have worn then. Is the shirt skin tight? Does the belly stick out a bit? Are the bottoms of his trousers up around his shins? Good, that’s what I want to…

This would make a remarkable miniseries. I’m picturing Hank Azaria and Miyam Bialik as your parents, although Miyam strikes me as a bit too tall. Hank would have to film most scenes standing on a box to simulate the “Shtetl Hobbit” vibe.

Another interesting tidbit from TFL:

It does but this is about the PRINCIPLE