Please post this to your Facebook account. Other people need to know.
FakeEmpire
fakeempire
Suburban Chicago Guy here who works downtown. I now always wear earbuds and sunglasses so I don't have to talk to anyone. I was under the impression this was totally socially acceptable for everyone. Without them, I've even had guys just out of jail follow and talk to me for blocks, looking for money. I'm a big,…
I kinda stopped when he complained about sunglasses. Um, unless it's night time or you're inside, sunglasses are always appropriate. UV rays don't stop and take a break just because it's cloudy outside. I know plenty a white girl who has made the mistake of thinking cloudy = no chance of sunburn. Oh, how naive they…
True story 1:
Holy shit, this needs out of the grays. Note that not a single thing in there was an expression of empathy, it was all about his "success" rate.
I kept thinking it was a trolling master class. Especially the bit at the end about himself.
Sunglasses are acceptable as long as it is 90% sunny outside. Anything less and you are being a frigid bitch. Do I need to send you a copy of The Rules again?
Stick a fork in us, 'cause we're done here.
My book doesn't even have any writing in it! The sunglasses are an optical illusion. AM I EVEN REALLY ON THE SUBWAY??
I feel roughly 95% sure that this is the same guy who responded to one of my online dating ads circa 2007 and then freaked out at me because I didn't respond to his message within 2 hours. Full on meltdown about how I must not like him and was so "closed off" because I wouldn't even respond to a great dude like him,…
Of course they aren't plugged into anything! You don't want to get assaulted or raped, do you? I mean, you must be aware of your surroundings at all times! Why are you even by yourself in the first place?
"I'm dying to stop you on the street..."
Since this is addressed to me specifically, let me reply.
This is SO tone-deaf and hits on ALL the street harassment points I almost think it's a parody—but then again, so many dudes genuinely think like this, that who knows anymore. Perhaps we've hit peak Internet?
The best part of his letter is the disclaimer at the end:
Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.
GOOD CATCH, updating profile. Based on Jez's posts about Tinder snafus, it is very much a selling point. You really need to be honest about how few crimes you have committed. It's only polite.
WOW, That got real, real fast. I think I'll stick to my go to Tinder pick up line;