#jesuisoctavia

Nancy Hates Chachi

He would sing Janet Jackson’s masterpiece “Alright,” but would change the lyrics to “Alt-Right.”

Thank God Scott’s okay. Who else could have performed the Charles in Charge theme song at the inauguration?

I honestly think this will end badly for them. I also believe he needs his kids close to explain things to him.

I agree. Except I want to put Jewish in quotation marks, which I guess is churlish of me. Even concerning this beautiful cobra.

I crave Queen Elizabeth. She can take back her colony any time now. Remember that story when Australia’s congress weren’t doing shit and she fired them all?

Dude I share this fear and I almost hate it more than the Donald presidency.

I’ve said this a few times... I have a sneaking, creeping, not unrealistic fear that the first woman president of the United States will be Ivanka Trump Kushner. Also, the first Jewish president.

The moment he said he sent the family away I was like nope. Didn’t happen. And if this were true, even by his own account the mother was horrified to have missed the child’s passing so pretty sure no matter what it’s super inappropriate for him to be out here telling the world.

Someone’s watch too many episodes of Greys and ER.

Yep, that “snore-y” breathing is the death rattle in action.

Minor 80s band reference for the win!

Annnd — would Santa really just let the kid die in his arms and keep on holding him, *without* calling the medical professionals in, stat?!! “Oh, welp, guess he’s gonna die right here, and I’m just gonna keep on huggin’ him.”

“You guys all have to leave or I can’t do my job.”

I can’t say that — I basically believed it enough when I skimmed the highlights in the McDonalds drive thru line to start bawling as I ordered my Mac Jr (yes that’s a Big Mac but smaller....why didn’t they think of this before?!?!)...but then when I actually read it, one thing really stuck out: if my child was close…

I know, right? The detail about mom bursting in, having missed her son dying. What was that!?

Also, if the kid’s that sick, they’re not letting a veritable stranger in there with him alongside no family or medically professionals, no matter who he’s dressed as or how many nurses swear he’s the best Santa.

Anyone who knows anything about the typical death process would also understand that this story could not be true. Most likely, if the kid were really in the imminent dying phase, he’d be unresponsive (certainly not having a full conversation with Santa or opening presents) and exhibiting the “death rattle”/shallow…

That bit pinged my BS meter as well. “Hey, my kid is literally minutes from death, welp time to leave him alone with a white bearded rando!”