A tale as old as time.

A convict in a potato sack who’s a gifted acrobat escapes the dragon attack at Helgen by wall-running a crumbling tower and a mountainside, prances through a bandit ambush, assaults a hunter, steals his horse, bends the horse into a catapult that launches him precisely to Riften’s docks, punches the first guard in the…

While we’re at it, how about requiring at least one of the video trailers to have actual gameplay.

“They only told me that if I didn’t comply, I would be liable for a fine of up to $5,000, and I could pay immediately by entering my credit card number.”

All you thirsty people need Talos.

I’d for sure let her polish my spear.