To be fair, those stigmata wounds in his hands open easily.

My grandfather died without ever having seen the cubs win the world series. So, my Dad, ever the crazy asshole he is, brought a radio out on the porch so gramps could listen in from heaven. We all thought he was going out there to jack off, but nope he was going out there to be with his Dad, which I thought was sweet.…

Tony Kornheiser is the drunk, sexist uncle I never knew I wanted. Here’s to you Touchy Uncle Tony.

hmmm? Thanks a lot Obama.