Fettucine Alfredo would like a word with you.

Damn kid thinks he walks on water or something.

"…or the Saints Row series of games, where he plays both himself and the vice president of the United States."

God, James is sweet, but he's so dumb.

The other day I was listening to an awful 90s country music station, and I heard the Randy Travis song "Hard Rock Bottom Of Your Heart" which I haven't heard in 25 years probably. So now I was old enough to listen to the lyrics, and holy shit, the message of that whole song is basically "Yeah, I cheated on you, but…

I was going to make a joke about how I've been wanting something just like this, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

This is a terrible list. First of all, we need criteria for what movies are being considered; I could easily say that Taintlight is the worst movie I have ever seen, but it can't really be compared to a movie that was made with an actual budget.

I have never read the book, so it's possible that John Grisham is to blame for the premise of finding someone innocent due to temporary insanity by arguing that any reasonable, clear-thinking person would have done the same thing in his position. But he can't be blamed for Lawyer Matthew McConaughey.

My favorite is Brotherhood for personal reasons, but I acknowledge that it is not the best in the series.

Is that because you haven't seen your wig around, and you feel naked without it?

It's probably tied with Syndicate for the best Assassin's Creed.

Before anyone corrects me: as soon as I posted this, I said to myself "Oh, yeah. Trump."

Remember when a dinosaur would have to do something menial or humiliating and would look at the camera, shrug, and say "It's a living?"

Is this guy related to Libertarian heroes Ron and Rand Paul? Because I already have a blood feud with that particular Paul family, so I have no trouble adding this guy to my list.

I chose to overcome that struggle by continuing to ignore Aaron Carter, as I have for the past several decades.

That sucks, but it's not as if the people saying those things would be kind and accepting if Pat and Aerosmith didn't exist. Blame the asshole, not the words they use to be an asshole.

I was going to say they would get sued by the owners of Grand Rapids local chain Donk's for copyright infringement, but I just learned that all Donk's locations shut down after a short time. Strange, I have no clue why they weren't more successful.

The funny thing is, you put so much thought into the Occuria, and I had honestly forgotten that they were even in the game. They don't show up until you're nearly through the main quest.

Are you referring to those rumors that there was a 4th Karate Kid film without Ralph Macchio? All lies!

They could use holograms. Or if the budget isn't there, they could Weekend At Bernie's him.