They're trying to capitalize on the success of All Eyez On Me by making people think they're walking into a Skeelo biopic.

When I was your age, our female horror movie protagonists had to work to open their metaphorical Pandora's boxes! This one doesn't even have a puzzle!

I still haven't gotten over Mila Kunis being old enough to play a mom now.

Yeah, I haven't enjoyed much of his work since…The Green Mile, I guess. Which probably wouldn't hold up on a re-read, but I liked it when I was 13, which is the right age for most Stephen King. But his earlier work absolutely holds up, especially Pet Sematary and Misery.

That's very possible; I guess I should clarify that I have no problem with the man himself. But his books are…not good.

Jesus, I watched it twice and I still don't have the words to explain what the hell was happening there.

That's because those shows try to surprise you with who will die and how, and David Lynch is just over here showing us an explosion for 20 minutes followed by a giant and his lady friend doing…things…in their ocean tower.

I mean, nobody got fired for dressing Vaan in a metal vest, so I think pretty much anything goes around there.

So you never read Cell, then?

Was there a MPDG and a wise animal? My God, do I despite Dean Koontz.

Is this one magical?

That is exactly the kind of attitude that will convince nobody to overcome their ignorance.

Standard post-crash King, more like it. The man got famous for a reason.

Like solving Lex Luthor's maze?

I'm surprised they made a video game adaptation.and portrayed James Spader as an orange bandicoot.

I had it on a demo disc that came with my PS1, but I played the hell out of that demo. See also Metal Gear Solid, Soul Reaver, some game where you're a ninja, and I think the first Tony Hawk game.

Every game should come with 1985 Mode. No saving, 3 hits and you're dead, and you only start with three lives.

Spider-Man should theoretically be one of the easiest superheros to turn into a video game. His powers are fun and provide a lot of options, but he doesn't fall into the Superman trap of being so overpowered that they need to contrive some reason he can be hurt. But they miss the mark more often than not. I'm…

Spyro likely falls into the same nostalgia pit as Crash Bandicoot. I tried to get my wife to play the original with me, and she could not get into it. But she had Crash Bandicoot when she was a kid, and we've spent countless hours on those games, so I think it just depends on what you grew up with.

So far it's a mostly good remaster, but they missed a few things. Like Balthier saying that your guest party member won't take orders, even though your guest party members now take orders.