Here’s what you should be doing:

Oh, c’mon, it’s not that hard: One’s Robert and one’s Bobby. Or on alternate days, one’s Bobby and one’s Robert..

Honestly, did you also have an impossible time telling these two Chads apart? Jesus WEPT.

Zip your zippers. open zippers tumbling in the washing machine and dryer slowly erode your clothing. close em up and you will do less damage.

Why is everyone lately showing that weird sweater hanging technique? Just fold your sweaters people! That will also prevent hanger bumps.

If Russ doesn’t get the MVP, it’s because people have failed to grasp exactly what “valuable” means. In a team sport, it must mean “relative to one’s team”. And having an MVP in an individual sport would be just plain silly.

“I hope kids watching the WBC...”

Isn’t the whole point of big corporations so thousands of people can fuck around all day and still get a paycheck so they can buy houses and eat and shit?

What is this guy, a Warriors fan?

I dunno - currently I know that if I leave as soon as a team scores, I have time to take a shit, rub one out, smoke a bowl, and go buy more weed before a return to meaningful action. This might fuck with my Sunday rhythm.

I think it’s because there’s so few bad cars and so many good cars.

Whoa. That guy really loves playing tennis.

*nods scientifically*

Fake news! I’ve been getting speeding tickets in manual-transmission cars for years now. YEARS.

He got a fucking tooth knocked out. You can embellish that shit.

The only reason any of us saw this was because it was Crosby and MSG wanted to focus on it. Those kind of wacks happen all the time (disproportionately against Sid actually), O’Reilly happened to feel that one. If that is your reason/reminder for hating Crosby then you should go back to feeling dumb for hating…

Nope, it would certainly be described as a sexual assault and somehow a title IX investigation would need to be launched.

lol

Let’s whack a tooth or two out of your mouth and see your reaction. I’d bet the decline in your sick leave would be insufferable to watch.

That does taint the goal somewhat.