Sweet Dreams (Are Not Made of This.)

Hi! Five cent burger girl here! I know it wasn't you but some rando in the grey and I just wanted to respond (so this is not directed at you Bridgette!)

Monogrammed Thermos™ does both!

This lovely man came in every day, I burned his bread, and he left a $5.00 tip on a $4.00 meal. One time, he heard me (quietly, I swear) talking to another waitress about how I couldn’t afford to have my other cat spayed yet, and when he left, I found $100.00 under the cup for my cat.

Thank you.

You are also very bad at metaphors.

Honestly, I don’t know what your beef is. The two of them happened to meat under tough circumstances, and their love is rare, so let them enjoy it. It's clear they're searing hot for each other, but each of them seem to maintain a cool center and I think that's admirable. And Gwen is among the most beautiful women in…

Only cows get burned at the steak.

Thats just, like, your opinion, man. I think the young Davy Jones looks like a real man. I think Colin Firth looks like a real man. I think Pierce Brosnan looks like a real man. They also look like there’s a chance they’ve been sober in the last six weeks and have had a bath recently. To each her own, I guess.

My entire goal in life is to get on project runway, then fake a breakdown so that Tim Gunn will come comfort me.

That is so interesting to me, because I am no fan of Gwen Stefani’s, but I think Blake Shelton is gross. He looks like a man who stinks of booze-sweat.

If Blake and Gwen are happy in the moment, good for them. But, really... Gwake? Gwelton sounds so much better.

Please tell me she drunkenly sang Jolene at this glorious event. If not, we need to expedite time travel to ensure she does.

I was wearing those Victoria’s Secret chicken cutlet looking inserts you put in your bra to make your breasts look bigger. That's all I remember about my 18th birthday.

I read that and thought for a moment that “Gigi” was Lisa’s dog and I’m almost embarrassed by all the emotions I felt.

I wonder if I could hire a child to represent me at business meetings.

Garth can’t believe she fell for the old shoe-polish-on-the-binoculars trick.

they should make hockey cards, but of his cabinet! they’re like rock starts!

There’s gender parity and there’s racial diversity, too.

Can we just be like, “hey neighbor, you mind uh.. maybe..running America too? I mean we’re like right down here it can’t be that much trouble ....right?”