“Americans don’t want to just be given money.”

I honestly don’t get it. I’d love to be rich enough to honestly not give two shits about politics. Oh, my taxes are going up? Well, just let my accountant know and he’ll figure it out. I can’t be bothered because I flying to Scotland to play 36 holes at St. Andrews, which is something I just now decided I wanted to…

And I thought that cartoon where Mr. T drove a windowless van full of gymnasts around solving mysteries was weird.

Roger Stone’s car gets 40 rods to the hogshead.

#NotAllBoomers is my favorite internet outrage trope.

This is the most confusing part. Dude isn’t actually going to eat the salad anyway.

And they reportedly show that love by making out? In front of everyone? Including their grandkids?

I suspect LaRouche’s ideas intrigue her and she’d like to subscribe to his newsletter.

She’s on that Father Coughlin trajectory of being so derpy about social justice that she’s going from the left of Bernie Sanders to full Nazi in less than two election cycles.

In fairness to Mattis, a Marine medical officer came to him and laid out his skepticism about Thernos. Mattis was basically like, you’re the expert and your argument makes sense.

Plus, at 32", do you really need resolution better than 720p unless you’re sitting within about two feet of the screen?

Plus, at 32", do you really need resolution better than 720p unless you’re sitting within about two feet of the…

I love me some Rothchild conspiracy theory. My MIL is convinced the the Rothchilds were the *real killers* of Lincoln because he thwarted their desire for a Federal Reserve and by killing Lincoln they were able to get their way 50 years later. That’s just how devious these bankers are.

So what you’re saying is everything Trump knows about this subject is from a Verizon commercial during Fox & Friends? Checks out.  

Maybe he can lend Baron to science. After all, Baron is very good at the cyber. He’ll know what to do!

Elizabeth Warren argues that the American dream is not raising your own children. The American dream is outsourcing their upbringing to government caretakers, while their parents scurry back to work as good little servants of globalized market capitalism.

Drinking wine at age 20 strikes me as far less problematic than getting knocked-up by a pudding-brained jock at age 16. But I’m just a coastal elite (if you consider the Detroit River one of the coasts) so maybe these things are viewed differently by real ‘Mericans in the heartland.

I’m trying to imagine if, like, Bill Marriot was elected president and these idiots kept falling over themselves to stay at Marriot hotels to impress the president. Would the Marriots give a shit about an extra $22,ooo in hotel stays? Sure, they’re happy you didn’t take your business across the street to Hilton, but my…

Putin sock puppet arguing against a post-WWII global order institution because Putin? That is next level, comrade. May you receive the finest dacha upon your retirement!

Here’s a star, damnit.