I went to school with the dude. He was the kind of kid who wore a suit to high school and would tell the teacher they forgot to assign homework...if that gives you a hint about the level of stick up the buttery that is going on in his life.

The plural of Utah Jazz is Utah Jazzhands.

Come to Seattle. Snow isn’t that scary.

“I don’t give a shit about any of this. I don’t give a shit about it so much, that I will continue to return here and tell you how unfunny you are, over and over. I may tell other people on here that you are unfunny too. That’s just how little I care.”

I don’t give a shit about any of this.

Cinnamon Toast Crunch...

Go to better restaurants.

Bad games, injured stars, and improper application of rules still haven’t made NFL games “unwatchable”.

Trump’s election finally got me into serious activism (first time post-college). I started showing up, keeping a low profile, and listening more than I talked. I wanted to defer to the people in charge because, y’know, clearly they had more experience than me.

“At least Jerry fights for his team and, by extension, its fans.”

It’s not like I said that I hope they get hit by a train, I just presented the scenario. Trains hit people all the time. One of them could stumble off a curb and break their ankle, which would need to be surgically repaired, but completely due to human error, the wound becomes septic and the infection spreads through…

you can be whatever you choo choo choose to be.

The story’s author takes us into the living room of Johnstown resident Pam Schilling, a 60-year-old retiree who is already keyed up to vote for Trump in 2020:

She was the one I was rooting for the most in the VA elections, because god the poetic justice is just so fucking good.

A trans woman defeating the guy who tried to pass a bathroom bill is the kind of poetic justice we need.

I also did not want to read all the way to the bottom of the article. Thank you for summing up the last paragraph for us.

I’m with you. Nothing tastes better on cereal than a nice big pour of winged beans.

I got the same situation going. I’m 6'4" and Mrs. Godzooks is 5' even, though she occasionally will claim 5' 1" (lie.) I’ll occasionally crouch down to see how the world looks from her elevation, and it’s goddamn bizarre.

Libertarian needs help.

News at 11.

LOL. Weird how the 80+ other USC players seemed to feel perfectly safe running off the field.