I was at the never aired NBC Top Gear pilot taping many years ago in L.A. Andy Wilman was on stage welcoming everyone and gestured to the crowd noting:

Being a Russian ship, I expect we’ll have dash cam footage soon.

And you'll tell anyone you can about it any chance you get.

Round Jetta = Beetle

Or people could stay back, like they keep telling everybody.  Patience is a virtue.

In other words, a bunch of police departments with extra asset forfeiture money are about to get new toys to play army with.

As an avid gamer and consumer of screen-based things, I’d much rather my kids be on a three-wheeler like that, then glued to screens at a young age.

Real jalops put their kids on Honda 3 wheelers

Nope. Totally a different one.

Still not reliable as a Chevy.*

The crying child dolls appeared on the car show scene 25-30 years ago. The story behind them, as I understand it to be, is that the kids are crying because their inheritance has been spent on the show car. Therefore the kids are crying.

Husband makes decent money.

I missed the part where it said it was a new Silverado?  Could have been a 20 year old hand-me-down for all we know.

Not just idiots. Stock motor mounts are soft, make shifting sloppy and imprecise, hence money-shifts happening frequently on track days, etc.

“you WOT it,” but you have know idea what she just said.

Given the ZF reliability issues with the stock gearbox, I’d think you could add:

I'm definitely going straight to hell. See y'all there!

I know T. Jon ( we worked at the same company for a short time) so I’m not going to argue with him, especially since his explanation is accurate. But there is another reason.

Good list! Also:

Turning your windshield wipers on when you have a smudge and there’s a bunch of us with clean cars behind you.