The Rodgers’ Family Thanksgiving might involve beef but it will still be missing Aaron.

Who is this, “hermano” character?

The Future of Journalism is Today. EMOJIS! 

Anyone wanna know all that I know about Tommy Boy?

Chances are, she’s already on the way out. Cheerleaders are disposable.

I can’t wait to see all the videos of offended fans burning their erections and/or vowing never to look at cheerleaders again. 

If you parse it right you can get all the way to “Eli Mannin”

Literally no one cares as much about the Clintons as these idiots do.

“This is a faked story clearly dreamt up by Communist Clinton and Overspend Obama to hurt Republicans in the midterms!” - My dad, more than likely

CEASE ALL MOTOR FUNCTIONS!  

Forget it, Jake. It’s Splintertown

AKA, the Casey Chan school of journalism.

Alternate timelines

Onions, it’s definitely the onions.

Dear White House,

I’m sure these fuckers will criticize immigrants for their accents, yet they can’t master their mother tongue.

Hey.... hey! you know what would really piss our citizens off? BEING COMPLETE DUMBASSES! HURR DURRR, I EAT WALL CANDEE NAO!

Indeed. HOT TAKE: the movie isn’t even that funny.

“They’re saying I have white privilege for going out on campus with my AR-10!” Bennett said. “They are saying that this all has to do with me being white. I think that’s very insulting to minorities. I don’t think anything bad would happen to them. I actually had a black police officer with me the whole time.”