Good riddance.

Because I’m high.

HAHAHAHAHAH. Fuck off to a location where you’ll pay rent and play barely 8th fiddle in a market that absolutely does not give a shit about your mediocre franchise. You thought you had it bad in San Diego? You’ll again be the away team in a stadium that won’t even be yours(!), and you won’t even have the small number…

This whole thing is so goddamn stupid.

Nothing witty, I just hope he fucking dies.

Sadly, he had no idea what to do when he reached third base

“blow me”

“Fuck you.”

Excellent advice. This should be taught in all 6th grade homeroom classes.

Yeah, I really don’t get this. So, are S.D. residents going to drive up to see the Chargers? Or are a million people in L.A. going to magically become Charger/Raider fans?

I live in Los Angeles, and from what I can tell, there is absolutely no buzz whatsoever to get one, much less two, NFL teams. We’re mostly just pissed about the increase in traffic this will cause. Anyone living in LA notice the same thing?

Just fyi, Deadspin’s official editorial policy is that the Chargers holding an option on moving to LA is the same as them having done so; they can eat shit until they decline the option, and for that matter if they do they can eat shit for having lorded it over their fans in the meantime.

Let’s not focus too much on dry land racing...

White guy reporting in. Cam Newton is great. I love to see someone having fun.

Dear Entire Town of Dearborn, Kansas,

I love how white men that claim to live in fear of ‘government tyranny’ and believe that it is righteous to rebel against it are the first ones to insist that all black people should strictly obey every police officer like a submissive dog.

If you’re walking around a subway terminal shouting “CMON CMON CMON” in PHILA-FUCKING-DELPHIA after an Eagles game, you’re either:

There’s something like 5 guns per capita in Texas. So where were all the “good guys with guns”?!?!

Using Trump’s and the NRA’s own logic, if no one had a gun then no one would need a gun. I saw we start there.