Hopefully writing this was therapeutic, because wont change anything in the real world.

I guess Jennifer Connelly is making a cameo...

" 'Mental illness' is an excuse used when privileged White males commit crimes against less privileged people."

Wow.

Please, never, ever reproduce.

We do however know that his owner was negligent enough to let the dog out of the house/yard unsupervised and without a leash.

I thought gay people were supposed to be funny...

What about those of us who have proper-sized dogs?

I think I would need to upgrade to the bigger model to walk my Rottie...

Only in America...

*18-year-old woman.

I don't know where you're from, but where I'm from 18 is perfectly legal.

Its a good lesson for all guys to learn, unless you are Brad Pitt, a woman will ALWAYS be able to score more than a man.

Haha, Is this really the kind of stuff they write in these women's magazines?

There is some truth to those stats.

I used to remember what my job title was, now when people ask, I just tell them I get paid to browse Gawker all day.

When they tell you not to throw curveballs in high school, you should listen to them.

Sincerely,
My Elbow.

He's serbian, "I'll fucking kill you" is a term of endearment to them.

That doesn't make it any less-sad that an animal has to die because it's owner was an idiot and let it out of the yard/didn't socialize it properly.

Yeah, thats usually how I try to exit arguments I'm losing too.

None of that is based on facts. At all. You are literally just typing words now.

Yeah, in 'real' sports like boxing and football they have completely safe things like the standing 8 count, and coaches that allow players to get back on the field after sustaining violent head trauma.

Also, how is boxing so different than MMA? Both use basically the same rules, in some cases both are fought in a ring,…

I will say right off the bat that I wouldn't date an obese person because I don't find obese people attractive. I don't feel guilty about that fact as it's just my personal preference.

With that in mind, I could react to this scene in a few ways. I could take it at face value and open myself to the issues someone in a…

The thing your pathetically small brain fails or refuses to understand is that about 15 seconds before that photo was taken, both men were both standing and trading, both just as capable and willing of ending the fight.

Bad memories? I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you were that defenceless child getting…

Love Fallon and most of his other new bits so far, but this one is way too 'Leno' for my tastes.