Oprah sounds really awesome, though, so that’s good.

Damn. Forced her to do the interview because they didn’t believe her?

goddamn.

I did see somewhere the line ‘Minogue has owned the domain Kylie.com since 1996. A year before Jenner was born.’ Which is such a beautiful slapdown.

Way to punish women and children. There are many reasons why a woman might not name the father of her child. This law is just a way to punish single mothers.

So, if you get raped by a stranger, don’t abort the baby because that’s bad, but we won’t acknowledge its existence when it’s born, either.

“Smell ya later, Jezebel! I’m off to the greener pastures of American Ninja Warrior blogging!”

You know you’re all thinking it.

I am still aghast by the moving pictograph I saw at the “nickel-odeon.” Ankles were revealed. ANKLES.

I honestly think human babies are some of the least-cute mammal babies. Sometimes I feel like a robot when people are like, “Oh, aren’t you the cutest thing!” to a baby and I’m like, excuse me, have you literally never seen a puppy?

All babies are cute. It’s evolution’s way of making sure they survive through infancy.

My sister, her partner, and I went out for Margarita Monday a while back. This sort of thing happened, and I was like ughhhhhh. They were both laughing like no big deal, we get this all the time. I wanted to cut people’s throats and they were dealing with it in their way by laughing and giving people the face. You…

Really? Because this is me, every morning...

Also, unless there is an empty seat between you, NEVER push up the dividing armrest. It is down for a reason- my space on this side, your space on that side. This is a sacred and powerful divider. Even if parts of you are spilling under it and squeezing against my thighs, I can pretend that it impossible because the…

And, OMG these people, if you are part of a couple and you book an aisle seat and a window seat in the hopes that no one takes the middle and then someone sits in the middle seat and you don’t offer to switch and instead hold whole conversations over middle’s head YOU ARE MONSTER PEOPLE.

Wait, did GP take out student loans to pay for college like most Americans too and then saddled with college loans for a degree they never earned because they found they couldn’t afford it?

“She’s really fucking busy” = “We didn’t even try because we can’t fucking afford her.”

It’s the .gif that keeps on giving.

Wait, the fact they were lepers and discriminated against elsewhere was an urban legend? I thought that was a super obvious part of the story.