Anal has been pretty effective too.

Paul Walker thought he had found one

Nick Saban has responded by spending 20 minutes silently assembling a rifle in front of his players while wearing a T-Shirt that reads “FUCKING TRY IT.”

I’m agog. That’s like growing up without the ability to hear, and the first music you hear is Nickelback.

“What’s the big deal? That’s not even horseplay.”

She was probably just trying to make TE.

Huh. Not the usual kind of hot water we see college athletes getting themselves into these days.

He’s tried to make me geaux to rehab
I won’t geaux, geaux, geaux.

This isn’t a horror story, but it’s definitely a weird one: I walked into my freshman dorm room one day and found my roommate, Jen, in bed with her best friend Ann. Okay, whatever, it was a women’s college blah blah.

That's a lot of words just to tell everyone you do Ironmans.

About living in Allentown or the train?

Playing college football is a privilege, not a right. If you can’t have the integrity to avoid illegally purchasing pencils for school, then you can’t be trusted to risk your long term health for the profit of your institution.

At the Copa...Copacabana.

If only there was some kind of convenient bed Murphy could have used.

Thanks! And while you’re at it, I’ll have a grande latte, no whip.

except that a liberal arts major knows to put the period inside the quotation marks.

He’s not renting it shoes, dude. He’s not buying it a fucking beer.

Shit, man! This isn't any big deal! I have the same diet/regimen, except with words like "Pop Tarts", "donuts", "double cheeseburgers" and "fried chicken" substituted for all those other ones. Oh, and without those 'workouts' and 'training' things. That shit just gets in the way of eating.

Wake up in the morning feelin' like Rick Stanzi,