my grandmother spend my high school years trying to get me to drink & smoke weed

The mirth and happiness that I have just murdered.

I'm glad to see other women's outlook on feeling the same way. The more I live, the more I feel the societal pressure creeping into my life: friends saying I should look forward to the amazing experience of having children, my boyfriend telling me tubal ligation is too extreme of a birth control! Fortunately, I come…

Thank you, I used to work as a baker, and was deeply horrified at this suggestion.

also moffat should be allowed to have a lot of ideas

NOTHING sticks to a dishcloth quite like wet flour, and god help you if it dries on something

Sandwich making skills are worrisomely left out.

"If we care about something, it's ON US to make them give a fuck about our something."

Its not us old people, and by old, I mean 40, who are getting punished the most by Republican policies, telling me I need to not only vote younger interests (my wife and I aren't going to need access to an abortion, we're not going…

How about get out and vote because it's a fucking CIVIC DUTY.

I flat out told my husband that voting is non negotiable if we want to stay married. We have mail in ballots so there's absolutely no excuse.

I'm not under 30 and I did vote, but yeah.

Let's weep into our wine glasses this day. Let's start with champagne mimomas then drown ourselves in darker and darker wines until we run out and the only bottle left is Jose Cuervo.

I feel like a goddamn unicorn. I'm under 30 and I didn't just vote, I also researched all the candidates (even for the local school board) and for both ballot measures.

Not about pennies, but when I was a kid one of my neighbors was a dentist and every year gave out toothbrushes and a brochure about the dangers of Halloween candy. I was like, "Sweet, toothbrush! Can I have the green one?"

I started throwing a fit once in a restaurant; I think I was four or five. My father promptly picked me up, took me outside, and explained to me (without any threat of physical punishment and without even raising his voice) that was not how we behaved in restaurants and that if I couldn't act like a human being, I…

I worked in a small pizza joint in a tourist town the summer after freshman year of college. Across the street was the bowling alley which was also know for "finer" dining (really). One evening, a couple came in with their kids (about 8 and 10 years old) and asked if the kids could be seated by the window, because…

One of my best moments started out as a disaster. We had a walkout on a bill of about $60. The other waitress and I were both really upset because we would have to pay it and it would be a large portion of our tips for the day. The other girl actually went and cried in the bathroom for a bit. We had these two sweet…

Last story was the best, although the dog-in-parka pocket story was cute as hell.

Funny, up there the code term for racist white folk is "American."