If you want the Patriots to read something, the surest way is to make it look like it was ripped out of the opposing team's playbook.

How did that guy get the cover sheet off of Belichick’s playbook.

You would know if you had called. 

The 72 point font but no exclamation points. Keep this guy away from your sister.

I’m sorry Jason, I made it to the second paragraph before putting down my phone to watch the northwest Baltimore librarian coalition debating the merits of the Dewey decimal system in a 21st century digital world on CSPAN3.

No anachronisms, please. Google was only created September 4, 1998.

Same with Charles Manson. Why was he locked up when he didn’t kill anyone himself?

you can’t start putting the responsibility of individuals on anybody but the individual who carried out the crime.

The Browns are a state of mind. 

will turn this 2-5-1 team around

So this is going to be our new normal, huh?

A dodge neon made out of $100,000 worth of gold would still not be worth $100,000

Being white is his umbrella.

Yep last year, and they’ve made several references to other Disney Afternoon shows.

That’s slightly horrifying.

I know what I’ve got! No Low Ballers!

He does raise a good question about which I’ve been wondering:

I love America. It’s just so exciting knowing that I can be gunned down at any moment in any setting. Really makes you appreciate life.

I would say that the OP was about cars...
But then there was a Gladiator & Chevy truck.

“And cmon, 5 deaths per billion km traveled in Germany verses 7 in the US?”