Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Hell, of all that horrible family, he and Tiffany are the only ones for whom I have any sympathy at all.

Nope. You’re not going to trick me into listening to this Genetic Mistake open his noise-tube.

Not entirely. Kids that age like doing transgressive things, and are (as we all are) surrounded every day with imagery advertising what “grown-ups” do while being told it’s taboo. And having once been A Children, I can assure you that 13-year-olds sure as shit know about the sex (at least in rough outlines on the…

Gaze into the Stygian abyss, and despair!

No, because I’m not going to ruin your day like that.

Actually, there’s some research that’s been done on this (which I’m not going to go seeking because I don’t hate myself like that). There’s some “hair doctor to the stars” with his practice in That Asshole’s Golden Phallus building who patented the process. Apparently he affixes extensions to the real hair via tiny…

Please consider some of the photos of him at his Mar-a-Lago trash palace this last winter where he’s flanked by two other morbidly obese oligarchs. He doesn’t have his wig on (protip: when he’s wearing his fucking maga-hat it’s because he didn’t do his wig that day), nor his makeup, and he looks like shit.

wholly off-topic (and not intending to be glib, given the subject matter), but step for a moment over into the Pedantry Corner: the past-tense preterite of “to plead” is either “pleaded” with the same vowel in the first syllable, or “pled” (preferred, rhyming with “red”), but it is never “plead” as if it rhymed with…

Insouciant complicity in all the iniquities of the status quo has become one of America’s chief exports in these, our fallen times.

I really should have jumped into Silk Road back in the heyday of the dark web and gotten a few sheets of high-powered blotter acid. But alas! 

Paw-paws are awesome. My parents have one growing in the back yard. you need to pollinate it by attracting a very specific species of local butterfly that apparently is most effectively lured by the stench of rotting meat. My parents bury a steak at the roots in the early spring and keep their distance thenceforth.

That’s why I say he is, in this instance, quite classy. He took someone who was clearly crossing a line (who the fuck interrupts a giant concert to go talk to the singer?), and gave her kid a shot. He didn’t have to, maybe shouldn’t have, but it was a nice show of basic decency, and it turned out really well.

And here I thought she was going to be cool like Michael Buble that one time:

To answer the OP, it will end with Real Americans slurping pure stuf through a straw as they float around in their Exclusive All-Access hover-chairs on the Axiom. 

On Friday, when Trump’s TelePrompter froze during a brief appearance announcing the end of the shutdown—or, anyway, announcing that it would at least be three weeks before a second one—he was left to ad-lib about illegal immigration and the wall he wants to build to stop it. He talked about the tape again.

So lemme get this straight. After conclusively demonstrating that shutting down the federal government causes a failure cascade of enormous scale that brings millions of people near or unto financial ruin, but crucially does not achieve the policy goal you triggered it to attain and in fact ends with you getting…

Plus, that’s not what happened. The reporter on site has already said that they were tipped off by some weird court filings the day before.

you guys, I don’t know where to ask this and I’m at my wit’s end.

What I really am going to relish is the look on his face when the whole rotten edifice finally comes crashing down. When the marshals serve warrants and haul him and his snake of a wife off in shackles, to perp-walk them ugly-crying before the cameras, and it dawns on them that they will neither of them get to…

I bet he’s also a close-talker who makes chewy sounds with his mouth when he talks to you.