Make sure your dystopian Go-Bag is packed and ready by the door! Drive as hard as you can! Don’t stop for anybody! Run over the hordes that try to stop you! Burn the house down on the way out the door! Shoot the pets, shoot the kids, to spare them from the coming hellscape! We shall meet again, reborn shiny and chrome…

Fun (?) Fact: if each of those base traits goes from 0—20, then there are 20^20 combinations, which is 1.04x10^27 different combinations. That’s a lot of variation (though, I’m sure not all of them would be interesting).

Honestly the dick-measuring and posturing so many MRAs/PUAs/douchebags get into with each other is so convoluted, it’s exhausting just to read it. White male fragility is such a tiresome thing.

As a recommended punishment, I suggest they take a photo of a generically attractive female friend of theirs (with informed consent!) and use it to set up a fake dating profile on Tindr or whatever. Let them sit there for a couple hours and watch the rape threats, dick pics, Bye Felipe tantrums, etc. roll in. Let them…

Apropos (?), Cracked of all places served up some varsity-level journalism shit and posted an article, absolutely terrifying in its plausibility, about how easily the US could descend into civil war like some bit-rate failed-state foreign-intervention aftermath.

You guys, the systematic circumvention of labor laws new “sharing economy” is totally going to do away with all the bad parts about using old-economy business models like “cab companies with their own fleets and employees and regulations.”

I was completing the acrostic up-thread for all the batshit things the Drumpf Legion is going to claim before the 8th. Though, that story about some dumbass losing his shit because his daughter “was forced to say ‘Allahu Akbar’ in school” is legit some weird bullshit hoax that went down in Southern Germany.

N[-word] Uprising. (well, they won’t say it out loud, but I’m sure they’ll use really transparent dogwhistle)

Creative use of the “Filed to:” and “Recommended reading” fields are the best kinds of Kinja humor. I wish more of the writers used them well.

“Look, all I’m saying is, if you don’t want people to call your kids [slur for mixed-race people], maybe you shouldn’t go around screwing [slur for any non-white ethnicity], amirite fellas? Look, you people got your civil-rights movement and your “women’s lib,” whatever that is, and I’m sick of people like you playing…

Counterpoint: thermostats, elevator door-close buttons, and crosswalk buttons are all disabled in the US. Here where I live (perverted Yurp), all those things — with some minor exceptions — work as one would expect (that is, they work at all).

Shit! You’re right. Sorry. Still, same thing: Everybody in the Goldwater camp remembered that Nixon stuck by their man, and they turned out for him.

They might not remember it explicitly, but the example of Richard Nixon is instructive: when Goldwater was going down in flames in 1964, Nixon was one of the few Republicans who stuck with him. When Nixon came back in 1968, all of Goldwater’s embittered reactionary base remembered that “Good Ol’ Dick Nixon” stuck by…

Why is it that I’m pretty certain that he’ll go full-on Felipe on “The Blacks” when his latest gambit to get their votes doesn’t work?

It may be mind-blowing for him to realize (or, you know, already apparent to someone who’d read the whole article like a grownup), but dictionaries prescribe correct usage but also describe common usage.

Pedantry Corner: It’s Daylight Saving Time. No “s” at the end of “saving” (because it’s time that saves daylight), as noted here.

I think the best-case scenario for this shitshow would be if the moderator simply declines to ask him any questions at all, shushes him every time he tries to open his vile mouth, and he just stands there like the hateful piece of shit he is for the whole debate.

It’s good to know that restoring the Internet will depend on at least two of Burkina Faso, Trinidad/Tobago, Czechia (that’s been the name of The Country Formerly Known as the Czech Republic since July), and China. I’m sure all of those countries have excellent security apparati in place to protect the cards and their…

Given that Drumpf is apparently planning to bring President Obama’s half-brother Malik from Kenya to the debate, I’d say he’s planning to blow everybody’s fucking mind with how Barry HUSSEIN Sotero Obummer is, like, really foreign or some shit.

Nope. Upstate NY.