Is he venomous? I assume he’s venomous.

The problem with championship parades is that they always take place on a weekday, so when New England sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending people who have jobs and contribute to society. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us.…

Not surprising. Boston fans are known for getting bombed at parades.

I’m not a football fan, but my kid is, so I watched the game with him. About midway though the third, I asked the question, “Does every team that plays against the Pats just somehow forget that Edelman is on the roster? Does he have the power of invisibility until right before the snap?” How does anyone allow him to…

GOLF. clap.

Playstation FOOOUUURRRR!

This is such bullshit. The girls in Kid Electron’s school use their JoJo bows as a means of exclusion. You don’t have a JoJo bow? You can’t sit with us. You have a JoJo bow? Well, it came from Target and not from Claire’s, so you can’t sit with us. Oh, you have a Claire’s JoJo bow? Well, it’s the wrong shade of clown…

“Ok. Thanks.”

If he’s such a great prognosticator, then why didn’t he open the broadcast with, “Everybody should just go to bed right now, because in a few hours you will all want to kill yourselves.”

But games like tonight, that’s the part where the Pats/MAGA telepathy everyone likes to talk about breaks down a little bit. New England, who as a lifelong Jets fan I fucking despise, are undoubtedly incredibly well coached and disciplined; everything Trump is not. Every one of those insane 3rd down passes were…

And the fans of both are entitled assholes who play the victim even when they win! What a time to be alive!

Perfect metaphor for America right now. Nobody but a fucking asshole wants the president we have, and nobody but a fucking asshole wants to see this team in another Super Bowl. Just one more thing to endure.

Fucking Trump's still in office and the Patriots are in the Super Bowl again. 2019 can already eat a dick

Sean Lowe was born-again

Now I’m stoked for Captain Marvel’s holiday tie-in, featuring Brie singing “Carol of the Bells.”

Do these cookies have nuts? Asking for an intolerant friend.

That would have started loose talk in the classroom, you know how bad girls get. Sometimes it’s not so easy to be the teacher’s pet.

Two words: Pat Benatar.

a single white male, aged 18-35, low IQ, awkward in social situations, have trouble holding on to jobs, etc. etc.

They had to attempt the headbutt again after the first one was called back for offsides.