Moving the chains, kicking field goals, same thing.

Great, so now my Falcons will be up 28-0 before blowing it this time!

I’m no Biden fan-girl, but to call these “Biden-esque” gaffs is so patently disingenuous that I just can’t. It’s just racist, narcissistic garbage. No gaffs here.

I still remember an amazing quote from last year’s WYTS, that I will shamelessly repeat here.

Lemme lay some facts on you: the cap number this year for CAR kicker/punter/ and long-snapper ($7.6m.) is greater than the combined cap number for the four DBs listed as starters ($7.1m.). This has to be an NFL first. The cap number for the Kalil Bros. ($11.5m.) is likely to mirror their combined starts, figure five…

Not for lack of Kaep trying, he wasn’t exactly a world-beater but QUICK POP QUIZ: name another 49er. He threw 16/4 td/int and threw for ~2200 and ran for ~475, all good for a 90.7, all while QBing a pathetic excuse of a dumpster franchise (the 90s were 20 years ago, sorry Niners fans.)

It would be a smart idea for you to shut the fuck up and go back to fixing the Slurpee machine.

Ack. Can we just cool it with using pussy as a euphemism for weak or spineless? I like the word. But come on, Jezebel.

A man who was very likely involved in a murder, who went on to continue playing and win two Super Bowl rings, chastising another man for speaking out against police violence.
This may well be peak NFL.

It’s maddening that, every day, there are lots of people out there who are good people and are competent at their jobs, and they either struggle to find meaningful employment or have a hard time making ends meet because of the compensation they receive for their work.

Kushner isn’t Agnew. He isn’t Kissinger, and he sure as hell isn’t Deepthroat.

I was really looking forward to a blank article.

Yes, I believe they call it “melanin.”

She “became deceased?” Yeah, no. She was shot and killed by the cop.

Trump: “So I heard this one story, and it now applies to all 11 million immigrants!”

That was a long setup for a Dion Waiters joke. But it was worth it.

Fuck you

Unless Scaramucci can fire Conway, Bannon, Priebus, Kushner, and Trump himself, you’ve got nothing to worry about. They’re all leaking things about each other to curry favor with Trump, and Trump is leaking shit about himself because his ego is constantly fed by having his name in the papers. Hell, it wouldn’t…

Usually hotel room liquidations involve more urine for Trump

Chuck. Chuck, it’s Marvin. Your cousin, Marvin Schumer. You know that new liberal sound you’re looking for? Well listen to this.