In the meantime, I’m President, and you’re not.

“I’m not a baby.”

It has a surprisingly short half-life.

I eat mine medium rare. Just the right texture

Toll House comes in tubs, which makes it much easier to eat with a spoon.

I have to take the opportunity to tell a story from the past week of my own kid’s astronomy question...

Texans who have relocated to NYC prefer Beto O’Rourke to Ted Cruz? This must be the blue wave bellwether!

Always be sure to disconnect your phone from the living room sound system Bluetooth. Ask me how I know. 

I mean... technically, the guy was getting a filling.

hi

“See you soon!”

My first thought was this and “Journey to the Center of Hawkthorne”. The Colonel in the logo looks like they pixelated Pierce’s dad

This tho.

All That was my SHIT. And Are You Afraid of the Dark?, of course.

So old.

That means they don’t exist I guess.

A random comment on a blog will definitely arrest the organic evolution of the English language. Good work!

Can we please stop adding gate to things. Watergate was the name of the hotel, not Nixon having an issue with water lol