“Boy, are they in for an ass licking.”

“You’re in Redskins country” - not part of the official Ellis Island greeting guide

This bad boy. A girl I knew in college needed me to help her with something on her car(so long ago I don’t even know what I did, this was around the early 2000s) but my reward was this... thing. At the time, I had a 97 Mitsu Galant that I entered in shows:

He used to play fallout, till he took a Sonata to the knee.

Yo dawg, I heard you liked Cougars.

I think it’s pretty great. It’d be more fucked up if they DIDN’T know what to do, and acted in irresponsible, panicked ways.

Here is the production version.

Whoosh

For $1,000 you can have a truck that you knead to drive.

Obvious BMW ploy is obvious. However, there’s absolutely no reason this shouldn’t just be in a straight line. Is there some advantage to doing this?

This sounds like a really fun trolling tactic, and I would have loved to take part in it myself if Cam Newton hadn’t stolen my laptop.

He should really try being a Greg Softy sometime.

Janay Rice says she deeply regrets the role that she played the night of the incident.

No, that was the part where Gruden referred to Sproles as one “of the best receiving blacks (sic) in football”.

This call was correct. Read a book sometime.

The umpires got this right. Russell Martin made a shitty throw.

Can confirm. Born and raised in Middlesex Cty for 28 years, recently moved to Minnesota. Whenever I visit home I want to bash my face into the steering wheel waiting for the attendant.

Should be valuable experience when they face wildfires in California.

Kyle, you’ve redeemed yourself.

When Russell Wilson was asked to give his opinion, he said “nah, I’ll pass.”