I have to be the one to run around the bases. Look at me run around the bases.

I'm not sure this will help speed up the game.

Still faster than Yadier Molina.

Kudos to the guy at 1:32 who walks through the whole thing without losing a drop of beer.

Presumably, he's already well-versed in faking injury.

Far from the first time that a dick has been on full display in Downtown Chicago.

Well...good. Don't think anymore needs to be said about that. But, I'll revisit this post in a hour or two and comb the comments for a funny joke or some such.

I could imagine a CNN reporter getting a hold of this...

Wow, this is crazy. We usually have to wait until October to see Verlander make an ass of himself.

Must be a hell of a drip.

Strange name, that "Gofuh Kyorself".

So lots of tongue, got it.

I still don't understand why fighting sports are so popular, they're so medieval.

...what?

credit: @cuppycup

The Brazilian team is unimpressed. They had way more boners than that.

What the hell is it with the military/pseudo-military and no stalls, anyway?

Harmony Church, Fort Benning Georgia, summer of '84. Had a fellow basic trainee end up in the hospital because he hadn't shit for a week because the toilets were six inches apart and open and he would look aghast at ten of us just sitting there chatting while taking a post-breakfast shit together.