As a former teacher, I can pretty much guarantee his elementary school book reports went kind of like this: “This was a great book. I really liked it. Lots of really interesting things happened in it. It also had good characters. I really liked the parts with the descriptions, and the language the author used.”

I would have won the healthcare vote if you deduct the 3 million undocumented congressman who would have voted illegally.

I honestly don’t know, but I’m going to take today to enjoy 45's massive failure. Which I made sure to tweet to him and Ryan. 

To give you a sense of how much Republican lawmakers care about women, take this vignette from Senator Pat Roberts today. When asked by a TPM reporter if he supported repealing Obamacare, Roberts sarcastically responded, “I wouldn’t want to lose my mammograms.”

Ohhhh Tomi. Now you’re learning what all of us former “cool girls” learned: you are not, and will never be, exempt from misogyny.

Yup. Let this be a learning lesson to fellow conservative women. Ms Lahren did everything right to be a cool girl, she was one of the ‘good ones.’ She stepped out of a line and all her bros went, “I don’t know her.”

I got a major ulcer from consistently taking too much advil for too many years to treat my intense cramps. i don’t have a great alternative, but just FYI

I don’t want a stupid wall that will cost us billions or a military that tortures and takes pictures of nude female cadetes to humilliate them. I find all of those morally objectionable. WHERE IS MY HYDE AMENDMENT FOR THAT?

My husband is a notorious cheapskate. When he met my family for the first time, he was talking about how he recently splurged on a pair of very nice shoes, but instead of saying that, he told my dad that he “splooged” on them. After cracking up, my dad just responded, “You must have really liked those shoes.”

What if the coal miner and the single mom don’t want to subsidize a projected $100 million in travel costs for the President to play golf at Mar-A-Lago?

I fucking hate him and every single person who put him in office.

My husband has a congenital heart issue that can cause him to go into atrial fib (irregular heart beat) — a condition usually reserved for much older people. About 6 years ago, he underwent a procedure that fixed the issue and of course, his parents and I did the waiting room thing. They put him under, installed a…

Your private parts never really belong to you when men want to look at them, after all.

To bring this little piece of news even closer to home, how about we all share our sober birthday? I know there’s many of us here that are recovering addicts.

It did make me re-think my life choices a little bit though. “Maybe I can open one of these fancy diarrhea clinics and people will pay ME exorbitant amounts of money? Is south Texas as fancy as Austria?”

I think if your blood is too acidic, you’d be dead.

This selflessness is derived from bonding, and bonding from shared events and the unquestioning subordination of self for the good of the team. But what destroys this alchemy — and, therefore, combat effectiveness — are pettiness, rumor-mongering, suspicion, and jealousy. And when fighting spirit is lessoned, death is…

“What I would like to see is this make people stop and think,” she told the Tribune. “Maybe my colleagues aren’t capable of that, but the people who voted for them, or the people that didn’t vote at all, I hope that it changes their mind and helps them to decide what the priorities are.”

I have whiskey and Xanax but I don’t want to, you know, die, so I’m trying to find a balance.

Kristin does have actual experience with creepy robot babies, though.