So happy to hear that little douche was found. I thought his defense was b.s. when I first heard it and he deserved the book thrown at him. Mom is just as bad.

I’ve always had dogs. Loved them and they were “part of the family”, but they were dogs. But two years ago we adopted a goldendoodle and she is the sweetest dog I've ever seen. She definitely climbed some ranks. Got her own stocking, a couple of fancy bones for Christmas and we pay for the expensiveass dog food. She…

I'd much rather adopt a new dog and give it a home than to spend a shit ton of money to clone my previous dog. We already have too many unwanted animals, so I'm not a fan of this. I also feel the same way about orphaned children.

When I was growing up my parents went to the local pound and got us a dog. We loved that dog. Then, when he died, we went and got another dog from the pound. While it didn’t make us forget our first dog, we loved that dog too.

Your vagina only has nerves in the first three or so inches, so if the tampon gets pushed beyond that but doesn’t bother the cervix you wouldn’t feel it.

How are you going to fit a whole clown up your ass?

• CELL PHONE

Apparently, you haven’t been invited to the right parties.

Your lack of imagination disturbs me.

You’ve clearly never tried sounding.

Merry Fistmas

Man.

“Wants to have removed” SHOULD go without saying, but one supposes some could be in for just an adjustment.

I don’t know if I would have time to hit the “entertaining guests by inserting the wooden leg of chair into his rectum party” when I have to stop by the “fisting party”. Both sound like fun.

• “ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

For the win

the worst part about this show, imo, is that there aren’t 75642 more episodes for me to watch

This is the best written show i have seen in years. There are level of meanings buried deep into it that i am still discovering. And the fact the center “love story” of the show is not Jessica and Luke. but Jessica and Trish is beyond awesome.