President Obama is still the best B2F guest, followed by Justin Bieber being spanked.

She is an ethereal elven princess and far beyond our petty likes and dislikes.

I'm a boring Arial 12-point.

"We don't all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can't all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I'm standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest." http://www.mc…

Only a fool turns down an easy twenty dollars.

YES! I have won the twenty dollars. So now you can post whatever you like, or fuck yourself, as I'll now ignore you. The fact that your post that put me over the top for the pool win was one in which you admitted that YOU CARED ENOUGH TO PASTE MY COMMENT INTO A WORD PROCESSING PROGRAM TO COUNT THE WORDS is a…

Hey pal, you begged for my attention. You counted the words in my comment and you have angled for my attention a total of twelve times so far. You CRAVE my attention. You desire it. You are consumed by your obsession for more words from me.

Keep them coming. I'll stop contributing after we reach the sweet winning number.

If you paid attention you will see that I already told you there' a betting pool going on about how often you will jump to respond to me. So of course I count the posts because each one brings me closer to a sweet twenty dollar prize— my number in the pool is the highest. The content of your posts ("Oh, vanity!") …

And ten responses from you. Keep them coming so I can win the pool. My friends don't think I can get you to continue replying much longer but I am pretty sure you can't help yourself.

That's nine responses so far and rising, zythum. You are dancing for me like a puppet on a string. ka-Ching!

I have a pool with a few friends about how many times I can make you obsessively respond to my words. Keep going because my number in the pool is a little bit high and I want to win twenty dollars.

I am humbly rewarded by the attention you continue to lavish upon me.

You are doing a lot of talking about me. Six posts so far! I don't have to write much more than noting bow your obsession with me continues to grow. You are obviously a big fan. I look forward to reading the many posts you will be unable to keep yourself from writing in response to my humble contributions here.

I regret that you missed the bit elsewhere in which I wrote I was disinclined to defend everything in the LP platform but that rather I suggest it is a better collection of general Libertarian ideas than whatever the pop culture du jour suggests is "libertarian." And of course like any party platform it is not a mind…

And that makes five responses from you. It's clear you cannot help yourself from engaging with the wisdom my words have conveyed. You will comment again and again to indulge your desire to interact with the author of such goodness. Your soul is now mine.

You took the effort to use word count because you wanted to know exactly how many wonderful, insightful, magical words you had immersed yourself in. You didn't ignore my post— you have written four responses about it already, and will undoubtedly write more. Those words have inspired you. You feel compelled to…

The actual words "We condemn bigotry as irrational and repugnant" in the LP platform seem pretty clear to me. I am disinclined to argue about what you might extrapolate from the LP platform due to the possible absence of certain language, because it's not my mission to defend the document as much as suggest it's a…

You get that you fail to identify what you are complaining about, much less provide any evidence that they are racist?

You counted every word. You reveled in their excellence. You laughed. You cried. They have become a part of you.