That’s not even the most egregious thing about this...the Ravens were perfectly fine making a double murder suspect a team captain for more than a decade...but WEED?!?!?! No fucking way.

I know how he feels. Smoking pot is likely what has kept me from getting drafted the past 5 years

“So he’s now a homeless unemployed college dropout”

No no no - Rocket survived. It was Benny who died.

Why was the anchor for the yellow team the anchor for the yellow team?

The question really just came out wrong. What he meant to ask was:

The IOC would feel really bad about this, but in their defense, the bribes were exceptionally large.

that’s the most millenial hipster shit i have ever heard