It’s a pretty simple, harmless mishap. The positive tests were marked with a +, which also looks like a cross, which could be construed as shorthand for “cross out”, which is the analog equivalent of digital deletion. Pure coincidence that it’s the same sort of innocent clerical error that happened from time to time…

Today I learned: Sáček is the Czech equivalent of Sanchez.

It’s not his fault the interview was held in a park full of squirrels across the street from the post office.

Hypocrite.

*Reads story*

“Demons” is an anagram for “on meds” which is an anagram for “Jim Irsay spilled his pill bottle into Vinatieri’s Gatorade”. Or at least that’s what the voices in my head are telling me.

Can’t be embarrassed in the World Cup if you don’t qualify for the World Cup!

Should’ve kept him away from Joe Namath.

For the record, the 1999 Reds didn’t just watch the Mets win 97; they actively helped them do so, letting Al Leiter shut them out at home in a one-game tiebreaker on a miserably cold Cincinnati night. Not that I bitterly remember going to that game or anything.

Hey, you remembered a Guy!

Sushi should be far and away #1. You know how unpleasant it is to burp a couple hours after eating sushi? It’s even worse when that burp brings up liquid, too. The retaste of warmed, gastric-acid–cured fish is deeply unsettling.

And we know Abraham would be willing to sacrifice the body. Just maybe not his own.

Currency brings up a whole new wrinkle to this. Nice thought.

Oh, he’d be a perfect sub. He’d bring so much change, there’d be dimes all over the court.

Apart from Muhammad, who’s already been mentioned a few times in the comments, Politics seems like a pretty big gap. Mao is known by at least a billion people. But I’d bet religious figures would fill the entire top 5: Jesus, Muhammad, Abraham, Moses, and David. Maybe swap in Buddha?

As punishment for the forfeit, CONMEBOL has extended Messi’s ban by another three months.

Kawhi would absolutely be in the league down below Muggsy Bogues levels. Short man gets paid.

At least he has his brothers Bubba and Bonzi to console him.

This was a Leitch-era Deadspin post: https://deadspin.com/nightmare-ant-334353

What am I missing here?