Think Indiana Jones swapping the little golden statue, but instead with New Yorker, and a box of cereal swapped for a shoe they just found

OMG SAME

Everyone knows a little bit of Old Bae is a slippery slope.

Jerry’s extra mad because Tony Romo is gone and no longer the holder, and he still has to settle for 6.

Bears fan checking in. NFC North toilet looks nice and clean for the licking this year.

Brock me like a hurricane.

But then the law takes a proper pursuit angle, and you gotta cut that run back against the grain.

Some people are so white that they actually become Bleach.

If they ever option this story for a movie, call it HairBall

I know the gardens of Versailles when I see them.

Well now you really make me feel like I’m a narcissist.

WASTED

Too bad he was never a Bear.

Didn’t DPRK release an American they were detaining for stealing a poster while Dennis was there? Could this have been a part of a deal to get him back?

I’m okay with a little vacay if it’s privately funded. Can anonymous donor also do something about Flint?

There will likely be an entire sub-conversation consisting of him and McCain saying “I do not recall” to each other.

Bad Banks Offer Bad Service. You lost me at Wells Forgo the Rules and BofAnus.

Came here for better top-level maneuver joke. Disappointed.

Am hockey ref. Guarantee that ref wants that quick whistle back, as that’s one of the most difficult quick judgement calls in the game, and one we work hard to get right. It totally looks to him like it’s in the glove or stuck in the armpit, including Murray’s body language, which is a referee indicator. A quick…

Yinzers gonna yinz