If anyone wants to hit up ole’ Jimmy Spanny himself and ask him what the fuck is going on, here’s his number! 917-881-5965

The clear preference for “fruit” vs. chocolate is some real serial killer shit, Kelsey.

Speaking for everyone, where’s xanax?

“Stick to candy!”

I don’t know about you, but if all the sports content is this sports-like, I might spend my valuable sports clicks here at DeadStickingtoSports all the sporting time!

Exquisite sports content

God damn it. Stick to sports and stop talking about the MLS!

Wow!  This is a great post about sports, sports only, and nothing else besides sports!

It doesn’t get much better than this, Luis.  

Sticking it to powerful people who are fucking up a good thing with disingenuous pleas to “avoid controversy” and “stick to sports” is a good thing.

*chef's kiss*

Fuck you. 

I’m 100 percent in support of the entire Giz family resigning and creating their own independent publication free from Great Hill’s bullshit, and would do everything I could to help out. And a paywall would totally be worth it if it keeps everyone safe from vulture capitalists.

What else are you going to do?  Work?  

Hey that piece of shit nestled between that pig’s enormous testicles looks just like Jim Spanfeller! Uncanny!

Wearing a John Rocker jersey is the same as wearing a MAGA hat.

Hey Drew. You’re the best, and good luck with the brain and everything.

A question for the Funbag: why should I keep reading anything on this website after Jim Spanfeller and Paul Maidment went to the lengths of firing Barry, like cowards, for the dumbest of reasons?

I want to support the writers here—this is both the best website that exists, and has ever existed, and the best sports…

Can confirm. These certainly appear to be three very good dogs.